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Odesláno

Dear Signore Dirrettore,

 

Now I am tella you a story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as younga christian man
at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed? So I calla down to receptione and tella: 'I wanna shit!' They tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say 'no, no. I wanna shit i my bed.' They say: 'You better not shit in your bed you sonnawabitch!' What is a sonnawabitch?

 

I go down for breackfast into ristorante, I order bacon and eggs and two pissis of toast.I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and pointa of toast: 'I wanna piss'. She tella me 'go to toilet'. I say: 'No, no. I wanna piss on my plate!'. She then say to me: 'You bloody hella not piss on the plate, you
sonnawabitch!' What is a sonnawabitch?

 

Later I go for dinner in your ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanna fock!' and she tella me: 'Sure everybody wanna fock!'
I tella her: 'no no. You dont understand me. I wanna fock on the table!' She tella me: 'So you sonnawabitch wanna fock on the table? Get your
ass outa here!'

 

So I go to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanna stay in this hotella no more. When I heve paid the billa, the portier sy to me: 'Thank you and peace on
you'. I say: 'Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch! I go back to Italy ! I never comma saty at your hotella,' your sonnawabitch!

 

Sincerely yoz,

 

Gianni Morella

Odesláno

Впервые я услышал это, а не прочитал. Здорово. Только теперь не могу что-то найти мп3-файл с этой историей...

Odesláno

QUOTE (allyouneed @ Oct 10 2003, 12:59) :D Никогда не слышал такого пожелания - peace on you. :huh:
Это типа RIP

 

BTW: Перед посадкой в Салониках капитан ( судя по произношению грек ) по радио рассказывает о погоде..., что мы приземлимся через минут 15. Потом, видимо исчерпав запас английского, делает паузу и изрекает "Amen!"

 

Ржали до самой посадки. :)

Odesláno

Если бы сюда можно было "присоедиенять" не только изоебраежение, то я бы это с удовольствием сделал... :^)

Odesláno

QUOTE (StYlus. @ Oct 10 2003, 16:58) Если бы сюда можно было "присоедиенять" не только изоебраежение, то я бы это с удовольствием сделал... :^)
Сделай просто ссылку на файлик, этого достаточно.

 

А есть файлик с тем итальянцем в Лондоне? Хочу!

Odesláno

Урок намбер сикс ( для женщин, которые хотят посмеяться и для мужчин, которые это вынесут)

 

HE SAID....SHE SAID

 

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

 

She said: You wear pants don't you?

 

 

 

He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said: Good idea - you

 

stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

 

 

 

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? She

 

said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

 

 

 

He said: Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? She said: I would

 

but you're never there.

 

 

 

He said: Why did the man cross the road? She said: He heard the chicken was

 

a slut.

 

 

 

He said: Why don't women blink during foreplay? She said: They don't have

 

time

 

 

 

He said: What do men and sperm have in common? She said: They both have a

 

one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

 

 

 

He said: How does a man show that he is planning for the future? She said:

 

He buys two cases of beer.

 

 

 

He said: What is the difference between men and government bonds? She said:

 

The bonds mature.

 

 

 

He said: Why are blonde jokes so short? She said: So men can remember them.

 

 

 

 

 

He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? She

 

said: We don't know; it has never happened.

 

 

 

He said: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and

 

good-looking? She said: They already have boyfriends.

 

 

 

He said: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every

 

night? She said: A widow.

 

 

 

He said: Why are married women heavier than single women? She said: Single

 

women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come

 

home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

 

 

He said: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

 

She said: They're married.

 

 

 

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so ! beautifu l?" God says:

 

"So you would love her." Man says to God: "Why did you make her so dumb?"

 

God says: "So she would love you."

  • 9 months later...
Odesláno

Хорошая какая песенка. Пятничная.
Что же это я собирался только что делать?..

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